so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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