i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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