I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
