Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
