New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I wish there were birth control emojis
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
