If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
