My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Randomize
