I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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