I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
