Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
