He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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