I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
