Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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