Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
