Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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