I'm sorry my penis didn't work
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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