It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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