k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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