that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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