I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
