Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
