She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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