It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
