and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
