By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
