He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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