Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
no you cant smoke seaweed
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You pole danced in your parka.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
