you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
