Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
