dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
So apparently I’m into choking now
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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