Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
