A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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