I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
