Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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