Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
high people should be assigned attendants
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
