Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
