Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
