Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
