Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
soo... how was my night?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
