Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
