i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
