im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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