go do what you do best...puke behind churches
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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