If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I don't deserve a penis
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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