I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
