guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
