I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
