I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm way too hungover for life right now
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
