We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
