im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
