we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
