There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
