Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
