where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We just shotgunned beers for America
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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