So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
