Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
