32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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