everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
