quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
