then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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