38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
His hands were made for my vagina.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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