am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I think people are normalizing furries
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
