I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
