Already got asked if we're dating
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Can you bring me the toilet please
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
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