singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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